Having fixed ideas of what you want – which usually boil down to looks and little else – could be standing in your way of meeting some great guys.

It’s time to think outside the box, look past the beards or muscles, and take chances.

We’re reducing men to body parts and stats; we need to cut it out.

Avoid regular haunts When you start dating, don’t go to places you bar-hopped during your bachelor days.

Rejecting someone because of their appearance is only natural, but they don’t need to know that’s your reason.

“There was no spark” usually suffices if you can’t think of anything more constructive, as people rarely questions it.

We whinge that we can’t find the right man, or never get a second date, but the usual reason is we’re not looking hard enough in the first place.

Whether we’re into bears, jocks or geeks, sometimes our narrow search criteria holds us back.You might not care, but consider your date’s feelings too.Get rejection right Rejection can be a useful experience because it teaches you a bit about yourself and the guys you’re dating.If you’re white, don’t say you’re “really into black guys”. You’re objectifying a person with no thought for what else he might have to offer.You’re saying, “You tick a box, you’ll do” like they’re not a person, but a means to satisfy your kink.While you’re checking your racism, think about the way you talk to other guys who aren’t just like you.