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Essentially, the historical reality is that until 30 or 40 years ago, long, intimate friendships between men and women in which each served as the other's emotional confidante, relationship adviser and "best buddy" were far less common than they are today.
So is the trend toward intimate friendships between single men and women a good thing? If you haven't read my previous articles on biblical dating, you'll be helped in thinking through this issue by reading "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." Based on some of the principles found there, let me offer a couple of practical reasons why I believe such friendships to be generally unwise, and then I'll suggest a positive role for friendship among singles in the Christian community.
I met a woman on Girlfriend Social who had also just moved to where I lived and we hit it off right away! Within a couple of months of joining, I met my new friend.
In my experience counseling and writing on this topic, everybody thinks (or at least we'll end up in one of the situations you just talked about.
Unlike most other people of our age and experience, we are (insert favorite answer here) a) really astute students of our own and each other's hearts, b) -clear and talented communicators, c) always honest with each other, even when such honesty entails huge vulnerability for whoever is speaking, d) all of the above." Maybe.
I went to school for 7 years and was so busy with work and academics that I didn't make any friends post High School. I didn't think I would meet anyone who was serious enough to build a friendship, but I was very wrong. Back when I was new to town, I was desperate to meet other women.
I was unemployed and didn't really interact with anyone.
Girlfriend Social is a website that connects women with new female friendships.
This website is for Ladies only, who just like you, are looking to make platonic women friendships.
To the extent that one person's romantic feelings have been clearly articulated to the other (and were met with an unfavorable response) to continue in some no-man's land of "good friends," is arguably to take selfish advantage of the vulnerable party. What if one person develops romantic feelings in a friendship in which no "clear words" have been spoken, such that the desires of the other person are a mystery?
Yes, I know, the other person is an adult who is free and responsible to walk away if he or she is so unsatisfied, but like it or not, it tends not to work that way. Especially if it's the woman in this position (as seems to be the case more often than not) she will likely feel that if she pushes for something more than friendship, she may lose the interaction and companionship she currently has.
Still, given her desire for a husband — and perhaps to have man as her husband — the status quo of "just really good friends but nothing more for some odd reason" will leave her unsatisfied, frustrated and confused.
I have seen and heard and read of such frustration and hurt playing out many times over.
Guys, has a woman perhaps turned you down over questions about a woman friend you spend lots of time with?