04/14/09 "John: Examine contents of chest." In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER. Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF TRICK HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) STUNT SWORD, ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT, ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES, SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, SEVERAL (~) BLOOD CAPSULES, and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, and ONE (1) COPY OF HARRY ANDERSON'S "WISE GUY", BY MIKE CAVENEY. 04/15/09 "John: Examine incoming message." You pull up to your COMPUTER. You decorated your desktop with some rather handsome WALLPAPER which you made yourself. Your desktop is also littered with various PROGRAMMING PROJECT FILES. 04/15/09 "John: Open Pesterchum." Only one of your CHUMS is logged in. 04/15/09 "John: Open message." |PESTERLOG| -- turntech Godhead 04/15/09 "John: Look out window." You see the view of your yard from your window. In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. 04/15/09 "John: Go outside and check mailbox." You are about to hurry down stairs when you hear a car pull into the driveway. You decide to chill out up here for a while until the dust settles.

Looking for free fuck buddy site no credit cards-22

"The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." -Mark Twain You are almost certain Mark Twain said that. 04/18/09 "John: Topple urn." You clumsily mishandle the SACRED URN. In retrospect, upon mulling cinematic tropes regarding ash-filled urns, this outcome was a virtual certainty.

04/18/09 "John: Toss Game Bro into fire." It doesn't burn as quickly as you hoped. You'd probably better clean it up before DAD finds it.

Really it probably would have been tidier if you just used a broom and dustpan.

04/19/09 "John: Put urn back." No one will be the wiser. 04/19/09 "John: Go get fake arms again." You just got another BRILLIANT idea for something to do with those pointless arms.

But your DAD swears on the many HALLOWED TOMBS of Egypt that it is not. On the other wall is one of your DAD'S stupid clowns.

Or HARLEQUINS, as he is quick to correct anyone who would venture such brazen assumption.

04/14/09 "John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster." Is it even possible to get any more hard boiled than that? 04/14/09 "John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk." This is the dumbest idea you've had in weeks!!! 04/14/09 "John: Use hammer/nails on poster." You use the HAMMER and NAILS card IN CONJUNCTION with the card beneath it. You guess maybe this is one respect in which the cards present some convenience.

04/14/09 "John: Nail poster to wall." You use the HAMMER, NAILS, and POSTER on the blank space on the wall. 04/17/09 "John: Examine Game Bro Magazine." 04/17/09 "John: Read article." 04/17/09 "John: Captchalogue Game Bro." It might come in handy if you ever need something that burns easily.

04/18/09 "John: Go downstairs." The accursed odor of fresh baking wafts into your newfound nostrils. It must be the connivings of your arch nemesis, BETTY CROCKER, and the rich, buttery aroma of her plot stinks to high heaven.

This mission is going to be more difficult than you imagined. Funny is funny, but your DAD sure can be a real cornball. 04/18/09 "John: Examine fireplace." A bright orange flame flickers in the FIREPLACE.

But this is probably unadvisable, since you'd just make your room lousy with smoke! 04/16/09 "John: Select "HAMMER"." Your STRIFE SPECIBUS has been ALLOCATED with the HAMMERKIND ABSTRATUS.