They can’t prove themselves to correct someone else’s eff up. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

You have to judge them on the merits of their own actions and the relationship. If you’re emotionally honest, authentic, and living congruently with your values so that words and actions match, they’ll ‘get you’ without you having to do the equivalent of doing the entire Dynasty boxset of your past and a Powerpoint presentation on your insecurities.

I told another ex all the things that bugged me about the previous ex and he adjusted his behaviour, something that to be fair, many people do when they’re eager to win over a partner but it can be quite manipulative if it crosses into a territory of being 1) deceptive and 2) covert abuse.

You should obviously disclose anything of direct relevance to this relationship like a STD, convictions, that spouse you forgot to mention somewhere, etc.

The rest comes out organically – you’ll always find out new things about one another.

I'd be worried about why he doesn't want me to know, is there something he's trying to hide? I'd not want to hand my children over under these circumstances, particularly without parenting orders.

And it's my understanding that she's not legally required to. When my X shared the care of my children there was one point that I did not disclose our address to him for about 2 years, simply because I was being harrassed and the house was being watched by X's new partner.

The father refuses to disclose his address to ex which was fine at first but now she refuses to let him have kids until he does. Whether that is a hotel on holiday, or their normal residence. I don't know where my oldest 2's dad lives, but then he doesn't have any visitation in person. other dad I know where he lives, he knows where I live. While it's not ideal, I think as long as she has a way of contacting him (phone number) then he can choose not to tell her.

We had written into our parenting plan that both parties agree to let the other party know asap of a change of address Unless there was domestic violence involved I'd assume he was being unnecessarily hostile.

Quick question for a friend...sorry if this is in the wrong spot.

There are no parenting orders in place, things were quite messed up at first but the father has recently been having the children regularly as agreed by both parties. Thanks in advance I think it's completely acceptable for a parent to withhold access if they are not being allowed to know where their children will be staying with the other parent.

I think that as long as you have contact phone numbers for emergency's and a suburb name where they are that is ok.

Actually, it's pretty standard for the family court to order that the parents keep each other informed of all contact details, including address, telephone number, email if relevant, and advise any changes.

I’m frequently asked how to deal with sharing past experiences or ‘revealing’ insecurities – the healthiest type of information sharing is the type that doesn’t have the quiet agenda of generating a specific emotion or action out of a person. Are you trying to draw empathy but actually getting it mixed up and still trying to draw sympathy?