She may obsess, analyze, and replay every interaction in an attempt to uncover what she did wrong. Healthy personal boundaries and high self-esteem go hand in hand.

She may know on a conscious level that it simply wasn’t a match, but deep down she holds on to the destructive belief that she was the problem…and that she is unlovable and the guys she wants will never want her back. Having strong boundaries means you prioritize your needs and your emotions and do not assume responsibility for someone else’s needs and emotions.

It's a whole new flavor of disconcert and disbelief. They've got something wrong - their expectations are off. And right now, when you look at how dating in America and dating in much of the West plays out, you're seeing this wide-eyed, confused disbelief from a large segment of both the male and the female dating populations. You don't hear women over 40 complaining much how there are "no men to date" - even though women at that age have far fewer options than their younger, louder counterparts.

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But if you often feel afraid of upsetting this person, and you change what you do to make sure they don’t get angry with you, then this is a sign that you are being abused.

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then there are signs that you are not being treated right, or that you are being abused.

It takes time and it takes work and it isn’t always easy.

Everyone’s path will be different, but no matter what, having a picture of what high self-esteem looks like, and how it can play out in relationships, is helpful and can help reveal the areas you may need to work on.

From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled.Poor self-worth is what traps us in bad relationships, what sabotages new relationships, and what causes us to feel so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.Self-esteem doesn’t come from blowing kisses to your reflection in the mirror or repeating “I love myself” over and over.I've been reading a lot of stuff lately about people frustrated with dating.It comes from both sides of the aisle: women who are frustrated that they simply can't find dateable men, and men who are frustrated that women are far too picky, and complaining there aren't any dateable men, when they seemingly just skip right over these all men who, on paper, meet all of those girls' supposed requirements. I researched dating and romantic history quite heavily for the relationship book I was writing last year (that I've since put on hold - I'm not in a position to effectively market another book just yet), and while a lot of male-female complaints are as old as time itself, I can tell you that this one - that there just aren't any dateable men, and that the women themselves are far too picky - is one I haven't encountered in the literature prior to the advent of the modern dating and relationship system in the early 20th century.The fact is, you can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside.