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So I took a semester off school to focus on myself. My whole life I've been fascinated with branding and I came up with this idea to create this brand of "Carter Cruise" where I could do everything I wanted to do.
I sat down and I made a list of the experiences I wanted to have in life. I wanted to write, I wanted to act, I wanted to make music, I wanted to do fashion.
I will still have a lot of stuff going on with porn so I definitely want to stay focused on that. I've written for a couple of different things, some sex blogs. I'm not worried about porn affecting my future, because I was 100 percent aware of the stigma of porn when I made the decision to do it.
I accept the social stigma for the money, connections, time, everything. I plan to do that actually."Sex Work" is a weekly series that profiles women who have careers in sex-related industries — from porn stars to sex researchers and everyone in between.
A year ago I was sitting in class wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life and last night I got nine AVN nominations.
We went in and I felt like, "I know how to have sex, I'm good in bed!
" but then I saw this girl having sex and I thought, "Holy shit, I cannot fuck like that."Fifteen minutes in I thought, "This is a huge mistake," and I was almost about to cry.
I had an experience with a photographer who was in the adult industry, which was a big thing for me. When he was telling me about the type of people who were in the industry, those people sounded like me.
That was a big breakthrough to have that conversation.And the director in the middle of the scene came and pulled me out and said, "We have to take pictures of your pussy, it's beautiful." [ Guys don't understand it. I went on Tinder a little while ago because everyone would always talk about it and I wanted to go look. He's the only person I've ever actually met up with from Tinder. He was so cute and so nice and just a really good kid and I was like, "Obviously we're not going to work out but you're awesome so let me introduce you to my hot friend."Speaking of friends, Belle Knox [the"Duke porn star"] and I are actually friends.When she was first outed, a lot of girls were jealous of the overnight fame she got. I came in being the "college girl" and suddenly found that title given to someone else.I was just thinking about how I made this epic mistake and it was so embarrassing.But I thought, "Well they're paying me to be here and all these people are depending on me, you have to go in and finish the scene and you can fly home tomorrow." So I just dove in like I do with everything and let go and stopped caring, and the rest of the night was a whirlwind of amazingness and I had such a great time.I took those photos and I was so scared and nervous and felt insecure, like I looked fat. Growing up they were very conservative, Christian typical Southern parents.