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He uses one of its mains symptoms, denial, to the fullest to keep recovery from alcoholism at bay.For many years, I was tricked into thinking that I had things all under control, that I really didn't have that big of a problem, that lots of people drink, so what's the big deal?
I haven’t spoken to him in ages, but he knows that I write a blog on Narcissism, Self-esteem and dysfunctional relationships and we’ve had plenty of conversations about all of it. But on the other hand, I have to look at it in the same vein as if he was a serial killer, or a child molester.
His face lit up when he saw me and I walked over to where he was sitting. These people have compulsive thoughts and behaviors that they can’t control too.
With his permission I pulled out my phone and started recording. This is a sickness and no amount of understanding, or sympathy makes it hurt any less for their victims. It’s not even on their radar and even if they do see it – it’s of little concern.
Below are the transcripts of the pertinent parts of our conversation. Hurting people, lying and manipulating for personal gain is evil, regardless of the circumstances, face, body and charm that goes along with it. Their entire focus is always on feeding the monster inside.
We did the perfunctory small talk and then we settled into a pretty good conversation. It’s your life or your innocence for their gratification.
As he revealed some of his inner most thoughts I started to think that this would be a good opportunity to get inside a Narcissist’s head and ask some questions that consistently show up in my inbox. For a Narcissist it’s your pain and anguish for their gratification. Just like a Psychopath, the emotional anguish a Narcissist puts his victims through doesn’t even register to them.All the time, I was dying a slow death, spiritually and physically.But the good news is that Jesus doesn't leave us without hope.When I was in University I wrote a 40 page paper on Psychopaths in my senior year and I got to interview a clinically diagnosed Psychopath in prison for my research. He was arrested for breaking into someone’s home and trying to steal their valuables. So, if you are looking at your mate wondering are you, or aren’t you a Narcissist?Strip away everything that is superficial and really look at what’s left.So, as I’m waiting in line for my Caramel Macchiato I spotted him. Some people define love as wanting the other person’s happiness more than you want your own. On paper Narcissists can appear to be so evil and it seems so clear cut like it’s all black and white, but there is so much grey in a Narcissistic relationship and that’s what keeps countless people hanging on. He’s charming, good looking, a shameless flirt, funny and intense.